How do you talk to your kids about eating? How do you teach them what is good for them, what is healthy, how to find balance, and how to judge for themselves what they should or shouldn’t be eating? Do you worry about this like I do? You should.
In today’s society, there is so much obesity, so much illness and disease, so much unhealthy behavior. All of this is preventable. All of it is inexcusable. And I don’t believe in the “healthy at any size” propaganda. No. Just NO.
But I also don’t want to give my kids complexes about food. I also don’t want to be so dogmatic in my approach to food/health that my kids run the other direction as soon as they’re able! There has to be balance.
So how do I teach my kids about food?
Lead By Example
I have been interested in nutrition since I was a sophomore in high school. It’s safe to say that I have a fair amount of expertise about nutrition. I took nutrition courses in college, I was a Certified Nutrition Specialist when I was a personal trainer, I have researched for years on this subject and have experimented with what works best for me and my husband. I don’t follow the Standard American Diet (SAD) approach to eating. I don’t let my family follow it, either, even though we are surrounded by it in our extended family.
Personally, my husband and I try to follow an 80/20 approach to food. 80% of the time we eat in a way that makes us feel our best and helps us maintain excellent health, performance, and our body composition (or work towards goals). 20% of the time we let loose. We eat out, we have dinner at a friend’s house, we go to a celebration, etc.
Our children see this. They know that we practice what we preach. This is not a post giving you diet advice, see @bowtiedox for that or DYOR. But you can’t tell your kid, especially older kids, to eat in a way that you, yourself, do not. If you’re not going to eat something, don’t expect your kids to eat it. If you want your kids to eat healthy, practice what you preach.
Start as Soon as Possible
I wrote a post about giving your kids autonomy with their eating. You should read that first. But showing your kids how to eat, giving them the power to feed themselves, and taking the pressure off, is huge. Tell a kid not to do something and they’re a lot more likely to do that exact thing, just because you said not to. You know how this goes.
Start with healthy choices, that come from your own plate as soon as your kids start solid food. Don’t give them crap when they’re babies. There is no need for that. You have developing kids who need whole food nutrition made from healthy ingredients. It is your job to fuel them and their growing bodies with the things they NEED.
Don’t Buy Garbage
This is just good life advice. Don’t buy garbage food to have in the house. If it’s not there, you won’t eat it, your kids won’t eat it (and are less likely to ask for it). You won’t pack garbage snacks for them. You see what I mean here. Don’t waste your money on it, either. It’s empty nutrition.
When Questions From Kids Arise
Because they will. I highly encourage all parents to AT LEAST get some basic knowledge about nutrition.
I am also an advocate of taking your kids to the grocery store with you. I know, I know. It’s hard, they ask for everything, yada yada. But hear me out. When kids know where their food comes from, and are able to pick out things at the store (fruits, yogurts, cheese, healthy snacks) it does them so much good! How can they learn to choose healthy foods for themselves if you don’t take them and teach them?
I am very selective about what I buy. I read ingredient lists. My kids see me do this. Sometimes they’ll ask me for something new. I will read the ingredients list and see if it’s something I want them to have, or not. When it’s not, I explain why. For example, I tell them, “it has bad oils in it. Oils that don’t come from animals. Oils that can make our bodies feel yucky." Then I suggest we find an alternative. Or I suggest we make our own cookies at home, with good ingredients that we then pick out. I don’t buy a lot of pre-made/packaged foods, but I do buy simple ingredients to make tasty things at home.
Educate at the Source!
I also highly recommend you buy local, from local farmers (find your local farmers) and take your kids to see the farm. My girls love this. It also teaches them where we get our chicken, pork, beef, eggs, honey, candles, some produce, and flowers. They get to feed chickens, talk to the farmers, ask questions, hear about how animals are processed, how bees are kept, see baby chicks, etc. We have one farmer we see weekly and she dotes on my kids. HIGHLY RECOMMEND.
Garden if you’re able. Get your kids involved with it too. Learn it together, like we are. My kids LOVE getting in the garden with me and will often check it (and eat it) without my knowing about it. It’s so fun to learn with them and watch their wonder at a cucumber growing!
Cook More!
Sometimes my kids want a cake from the bakery. I simply tell them, “Mama makes all of the food we eat like that. I don’t buy it already made.” They don’t question this because this is, in actuality, how we live. Here’s my philosophy, if you’re not going to go through the work of making a special treat, you probably shouldn’t be eating it. Don’t buy pre-made treats/junk/baking mixes just because they’re convenient, your health will suffer for it in the long run. Plus, getting your kids in the kitchen to help is fun too! And it teaches your kids more about the food they eat. This is also true of meals. Cook them at home, get your kids involved, teach them as you cook. It’s great bonding and teaches kids about food.
Teach Your Kids About Macros!
Not macro counting, haha. But I do teach my daughters about what proteins, carbs, and fats do for their bodies. When they’ve eaten a ton of fruit but are still hungry, asking for the 100th snack for the day, I’ll say something like, “I bet you’re still hungry because your body needs some fat or protein. What do you think?” Then I let them make that choice for themselves. I have also taught them which foods contain the different macros. They know their bodies, I don’t try to control what they choose to eat (because I don’t allow junk into my home), and they’re able to make snack choices for themselves. But it doesn’t hurt to teach them that carbs give them energy, protein helps their muscles grow, and fat helps them feel fuller and is essential for basic functioning too. They get it. Don’t underestimate your kids on this, either. My children are young, they’ve grasped this concept since toddlerhood.
You can also teach them that milk gives them strong bones, meat helps them grow, sugar might make them feel hyper, etc. Just don’t use it to bully them into eating what YOU think they need. They know, trust them.
When We’re Not Home
There are, of course, occasions when we aren’t home and we aren’t as able to make good food choices. You might think that kids who live in home with only healthy, clean options might go hog wild at a birthday party. Between my family, and my like-minded sister’s family, I have not found this to be the case. What I do find is that our cousins’ children, who eat garbage regularly, DO go hog wild at parties.
Both my sister and I teach our kids about food in very similar ways. When I am out with my kids, I tell them ahead of time that there will be food there that we don’t normally eat. They ask if they can have it. I say, “yes. It’s okay to have this kind of food occasionally. It’s not food we eat all the time, but it is tasty and you can enjoy it.” I have found that not making a big deal out of birthday parties, for example, and letting my kids enjoy themselves instead of putting tons of pressure or restrictions on them leads to them tasting most things but not going crazy. Usually they’ll leave some of the “treat” on their plates and lean toward things that are familiar and make them feel good.
My youngest daughter, who is still a toddler, is particularly sensitive to seed oils. She knows she is, too. It gives her digestive upset, to say it mildly. So she’ll almost always follow up the previous question with “does it have bad oils?” I tell her the truth. That it probably does but it’s up to her if she wants to have it. I explain that she’ll probably be fine if she has a little and then I let her decide. She doesn’t always make a good choice here, but she won’t learn if I don’t give her that opportunity.
I Don’t Talk About Food Making People Fat
One of the things that I have decided, for now, to stay away from is talking about food in terms of body composition. My kids are still very young. I don’t want them thinking about or worrying about their food making them fat or skinny. I have daughters and I have given this a TON of thought. When they are older, I will approach this subject, but only AFTER they have a good solid sense of what healthy food can do for them and how food makes them feel in their bodies.
I don’t talk about food in regards to other people’s body composition, including mine. I talk about food making me feel sick or strong.
Eating In Inappropriate Situations or Places
We limit most of our meals to our dining table. We don’t eat meals in front of the TV or while doing anything else. We don’t take food in the bedrooms or the bathroom. We do allow snacks in the living room as long as manners are followed and things are cleaned up. We also eat outside a lot, but it’s not combined with any other activity. When we have a meal, our meal is our focus.
In Closing
Learn about nutrition, talk to your kids, lead by example, cook at home, take them shopping (or to the farm), don’t buy crap, and let them have the birthday party cake (even if internally you cringe like I do). Take all of this advice, or pieces of it, but teaching kids about nutrition is actually a blessing. Knowledge is power they say, and if you can teach your children about their food, hopefully it’ll keep them away from being a statistic in this obesity epidemic.