My husband and I were talking a few weeks ago, while out on a walk with our children. We walked past a home that had a lot of firefighter decor. I pointed it out to my husband, and I said, “I think that this person must have been a firefighter.”
It struck me that there is so much identity tied up in what our day jobs are. Be it a firefighter, police officer, teacher, sanitation worker, whatever. It seems that most people place a lot of value in what their profession is.
I was raised by police officers. They slept, ate, and breathed everything that had to do with their jobs. And while many would argue that it was an honorable profession, they failed to see any other aspects of my parent’s lives beyond what they did for work.
My family was broken. My parents (mom and stepdad) were abusive. The “legacy” they left me needed to be chucked out the window (for the most part) before I had kids of my own. A lot of healing has had to happen. I couldn’t care less that they were police officers.
My dad and I were recently having a chat with my husband and one of the things that struck me was how much my dad (who retired from the force long ago) still holds onto the identity he has as a cop. He made sure my husband knew that people “were impressed by him” when he wrote tickets, made arrests, etc. His job is still his most identifying personality trait. None of his children followed in his footsteps. Some legacy.
A Different Look
It’s not lost on me that my career as a wife, stay at home mother, and homeschooler is also a part of my identity. In a way it’s also my legacy. But what I will teach my daughters will directly affect their lives in the future. My being home with them will foster so much more than a “career” could. I am passing on tradition, love, learning, skills, education, and so much more. But it’s not the ONLY legacy they will inherit from us.
Passing on a True Legacy
I’m not one to put knickknacks in my yard to identify what is important to me. So don’t you jungle neighbors worry about the future haha. But IF I were going to do that, I would want it to reflect my work at raising well balanced, sovereign, free thinkers who are tough but kind, full of love, emotionally mature adults that I brought into this world.
I want my children to raise their children the same or better. I want us to live near each other forever. I want a healthy, huge family that connects with each other daily, and who loves each other fiercely.
My husband and I have felt alone many times in this world. We have clawed our way to where we are now. We have overcome a lot. And while these experiences have brought us to where we are now and made us so focused on providing better for our children, it has been hard. We don’t ever want our kids to feel alone in this world.
Our parents were proud of their jobs, but in the end, it didn’t really matter.
A Challenge
Perhaps you think like I do, but I encourage you to think about the legacy you’re passing on. Are you teaching life skills? Do your kids know love? Do they value family? What is important to you? What do you want your kids to take with them into adulthood and into their own families?
Whatever your answer is to this, and I’m sure everyone has different ones, it’s worth thinking about. I’m sure it’s not “I hope my kids are proud of ME and the work I did.”
At the end of the day, what you pass on to your children, good or bad, is going to make the biggest impact.
Make your legacy count.