Surrounding Your Family: Education
Part 3: Is Your Learning System the Best You Can Do?
It’s no secret that we are homeschooling advocates. I was educated in the public school system (aka government school) and we moved, A LOT. My education was interrupted with each move and there were definite holes in my learning. Some of them affected my test taking for college placement later on. Despite this, I was consistently on the honor roll, invited to join the Gate program in two separate schools, and got good grades. Even so, my potential was stifled.
My husband was sent to a private Catholic school K-12. I can’t even say that his education was any better than mine. He has a great mind, thinks critically and quickly, and gets bored very easily when things are too simple and not challenging enough. He’s an engineer and a computer programmer, so sitting in a classroom, and not being challenged as a child was a recipe for a lot of trouble for him. His potential was stifled.
My parents were not involved in my education. They sent me to school and trusted the system to take care of it for them. I had other interests but no time to explore them with the rigorous schedule, plus homework, plus sports. But there were plenty of subjects I was not interested in, and forced to learn, as well.
The beauty of homeschooling is that we get to let our children decide (for the most part) what they will learn about. They get to explore their interests with full focus. We have more time for more learning when we aren’t wasting the day waiting on everyone else and standing in line.
Let’s Break it Down
Since my kids are younger I will share my perspective from a 5 year old point of view. If you have older kids, imagine the following scenarios for the age of your children. I imagine it’s compounded as they grow older.
A government school kindergartner:
Wakes up before they’re ready, rushes getting ready, breakfast, and out the door. Cortisol spiked from a hectic morning and separation from family.
Made to sit in a desk, when the natural inclination of a young child is to wiggle and move. At best they sit in a circle on the rug. Still, expected to sit still. They have to ask permission to use the restroom. They have to ask permission to get a drink. They have to wait until the allotted eating times to answer hunger cues.
These kids spend at least half a day away from their families. Sometimes more. They are expected to behave in a certain way that is in conflict with their natural tendencies. They get little outdoor time. They get some play time, but it’s not as much free play time as they need. (Kids learn best with LOTS of play).
The government school kindergartner may even deal with bullying at this age. One adult is assigned to watch/teach 30 children. That ratio is too vast for keeping kids safe. That teacher is under-qualified and overworked.
The homeschooled 5 year old:
Wakes up when their body tells them to. Has a slow paced morning, settling into the day with ease and eating their breakfast at a normal pace. Stays home in the loving environment with a parent, all day. Safe.
Gets to play and learn outside. Plenty of fresh air and sunshine. On rainy days, maybe some puddle play. Maybe a puzzle. A lot of free play mixed with formal learning. Lots of breaks from formal learning. Formal learning also ends early for the day, if needed.
Definitely some arguments with siblings. But the ratio of adult to child here is much smaller. Conflicts are noticed, and handled in a safe and socially acceptable way, honoring feelings and learning valuable lessons. Sometimes over and over again.
Bathroom breaks, water breaks, and snacks whenever the child feels the biological need for them. Healthy, home cooked or home prepared foods for all meals.
When we read or do school work, fidgeting and movement are not discouraged because I know that developmentally a child might need these tools to absorb the information better. Instead of fighting the urge to wiggle and stay still, we honor what our bodies and minds need. We also change gears on a moment’s notice if that’s what’s needed.
No homework because everything is learning and we do all learning at home or with a parent.
We travel. We go to multiple field trips per year. We are not stuck to a classroom. We hike in our woods. We explore nature. We get together with other homeschooling families and our friends. We go to church. We get plenty of “socialization” in our everyday life. Learning is with us wherever we go.
Which Would You Choose?
As a 5 year old kid, which of my two scenarios would you choose? Looking back on my childhood now, I would have deeply valued more time with my mom. I would have benefited from my education being able to travel with us as we moved. Making new friends so many times was really hard. Being the new kid so often, I experienced bullying. Thank goodness I grew up in a time without social media. I didn’t fit into the sports cliques because they had all been playing together since kindergarten. My teachers were wretched sometimes. Sometimes they were nice, don’t get me wrong. But that was a different time.
If you were to ask my husband, he would have also chosen the homeschool route for himself. He has been interested in computers since he took apart his first one as a kid. But he didn’t get to fully embrace that passion until he was almost 40 and carved out time for it. He was bored in his school, often getting in trouble because of it. He read during classes instead of listening because he was so far ahead of everyone else that he didn’t have anything else to learn. He was held back BECAUSE he was so smart. He had to wait for all of the other kids to catch up. His potential could have been so much more unlocked if he had had the opportunity to learn at his pace at home. So much time is wasted in school, private or government. Time that could be spent on much more interesting things!
How You Teach Your Kids Matters
The system in which you teach your kids matters. Maybe you’ve found a stellar government school and your kids are thriving. Great! We don’t have that here. Most communities, I’d wager, don’t have that.
The other kids who go to these schools will influence your children whether you like it or not. I had the influence of both the “good” kids and the “bad” kids growing up. I was lucky enough to not fall into many detrimental traps like some of my peers did.
You do not get to choose your kid’s teachers. You do not get to choose the principal. You do not get to choose who your kids go to school with.
The people that surround your children MATTER.
Subject Matter in Schools
I know a woman who pulled her kids from government schools because they were going to start teaching her kids about sex ed in kindergarten. She was not comfortable with it. She NEVER thought she’d be a homeschooling parent, but let me tell you, she was happy with her choice.
Do you know what they’re teaching your kids? Maybe you’re comfortable with it. I am certainly not comfortable with not knowing what my kids are learning about 8 hours a day, 5 days a week.
What your kids are learning, MATTERS.
Teachers
I minored in child development in college. I studied along a lot of future teachers. Most of them had their hearts in the right place but many of them were just dumb. I’m not bashing on all teachers, but I don’t think they’re as qualified as everyone makes them out to be. One look at Libs of TikTok will show you what some of these teachers are trying to push in schools. Some, not all. But if my kid ever came home telling me they wanted to switch genders and were carrying a gay pride flag around the hall at school, I’d know I failed as a parent. Let’s not even mention the so-called kid friendly drag-queen field trips.
Government Schools
Schools seem to be more and more corrupt as time goes on. These government schools don’t care about our children. They only want to groom them to comply with standards as adults. They don’t want us to be free thinkers. They don’t want us to question and push back. That’s why they start teaching kindergartners to sit still and ask permission to address biological needs at such young age.
As Parents, What Can We Do?
I understand that for many families, homeschooling can seem like it’s unattainable. Maybe you need to have two incomes. Maybe you don’t feel qualified to teach because you aren’t credentialed. Maybe you don’t want to homeschool.
I would urge you to take a hard, serious look at your circumstances and re-evaluate. Can you live with less? Can you swing one income so one parent can stay home and teach at home? Can you work your schedules so that somebody is always with the kids, even if you both work?
Research, research, research. If you don’t feel qualified to teach your children at home I will argue with you until I am blue in the face that you’re wrong. YOU know your kids best. YOU know what their strengths and weaknesses are. YOU know what is best for them. YOU will keep them protected and safer than literally anyone else on the planet. And if you’re intimidated by the subject matter, learn alongside them! That’s part of the fun of this! There are some great resources for picking a curriculum, or not, as well. We have some great people on Twitter talking about homeschooling, as well. See @bowtiedtuna and @bowtiedreverend to start.
Look in your area for homeschooling groups. I am part of two. One with my church and another with Wild + Free. Both are great. We have other homeschooling resources near us, as well. They are out there! More and more families are waking up to the sham that are government schools.
If you don’t want to homeschool, I urge you to think about the responsibility you owe your children and put that aside for their sake. You may even find that you enjoy homeschooling more than you expected. Kids will appreciate time with you much more than the newest thing money can buy.
Book Resources
When I started homeschooling my kids I bought Busy Toddler’s Playing Preschool Program, years 1 and 2. I have taken both of my kids through it. It was a great introduction for learning for ALL OF US. It gave me so much confidence. I love her and her program. I can’t say enough good things about it. AND, if you have more than one kid, you can reuse it.
Beyond that I used this book to discover what my teaching style was. It has a lot of really valuable information in it regarding curriculum, too.
If you’re still not convinced that you can do this, read this book. A dear friend recommended it to me and it was incredible for helping me to see how much kids THRIVE off of learning in a natural environment. It’s also how I found one of my homeschooling groups.
And though I haven’t had a chance to read this one yet, I have heard wonderful things about it.
Additional Thoughts and Information
Always check your state’s requirements and laws for homeschooling. They will vary state by state. Be up to date on them. Follow them.
Who our children spend their time around is so important. What they learn at a young age will shape the rest of their lives. The people, education, wisdom, and environment that surrounds them should be a center focus for parents as their children grow from babies, to kids, to teenagers, to adults. It is OUR responsibility to raise them well.