As I sit in the afternoon sun with my children, I keep thinking about the commonly used phrase, "you are enough." It's a modern catchy quote you see all over social media, but it has never sat well with me.
The idea is that no matter what you do as a mother, "you are enough." Didn't feed your kids a healthy breakfast? Didn't brush their teeth today? Late to that appointment or school? It's cool Mama, your kids are happy right? Then, "you are enough!" I get it. Being a Mama is hard sometimes. Whether you're a working mom, a stay-at-home mom, or some combination of both, it's hard. There's a lot of social media pressure to have it all together. Is that realistic? Of course it isn't. But what bothers me about "you are enough" is that it gives permission to phone it in. That simply getting pregnant and giving birth to tiny humans means you've done enough.
I am always striving to be and do better as a wife and mother. The phrase, "you are enough" breeds complacency. We are raising the future and there's no room for that kind of behavior. Many of us need to or are breaking nasty generational cycles from our own parents and childhoods. There are days that I'm tapped out, sure, and taking some time for myself makes me a better wife and mother. But it never comes at the expense of my children. After my marriage, they always come first.
Motherhood is a responsibility I don't take lightly. If you miss a deadline at your day job, I guarantee your boss won't tell you, "it's okay. You are enough." Just because your children can't tell you they need more from you or need you to perform at a higher level, doesn't mean that you shouldn't always be striving to improve. If I'm not continuing to better myself as a woman, wife, and mother then I'm not growing as a person.
Your worth is there. And if you don't see it, you need to find it. Get therapy, exercise, learn a new skill, eat healthier, find a tribe and connect with your community, find something that makes you grow. It's easy to get lost in motherhood, don't let this happen to you. If it has, you're not alone. It is not enough to sit by and let this be the rest of your life. You don't grow and your children learn from your example. I don't condone shirking your parenting responsibilities off on a daycare to achieve these goals, but I do think there is value in finding ways to grow intellectually and in a healthy way.
This post is intended to inspire you and to help you grow as a wife and mother. I hope you learn something here and can put these practices into good use. I don't believe in living a mediocre life. I think the most important thing we can do as women is to raise healthy, strong families who grow to value marriage, family, integrity, and commitment. Enough is enough, it's time to get up and live your best life, for you and your family.
Great article!